Jenny Ford, owner of Monkey-Toes.com, Baby Week 5

Week 5

I need to step away from the baby books, scratch that, burn the baby books!  Ya, I’m talking to you little Miss Baby Whisperer and big ol’ smarty pants Mr. BabyWise.  They are making me absolutely paranoid.  Of course I want my baby to sleep through the night.  Every exhausted new mom with dark circles under her eyes wants that – duh!  But now I’m convinced that I am doing everything wrong, down to my milk supply, that my child will never sleep through the night at 8 weeks like the books tell me.  It’s just like that pregnancy book I read – every twinge lead to “oh my gosh, I am in labor”.  Now it’s, Oscar was fussy, it’s obvious my milk supply is down!!!  Mr Know-it-all BabyWise says that your milk supply will dwindle if you have a lack of sleep (duh, I’m a new mom - check), haven’t had enough calories (wait, does dessert count? - check), aren’t hydrated enough (uh, does coffee count? – check), feel stressed (hmm, when do I have time to get it all done? –slight check) – basically you will be waking up in the middle of the night until he moves out of the house because my child cannot get enough calories from my lack-of-sleep-dehydrated-high-fructose-corn-syruped-caffienated-stressed-out-powdered-breast-milk – phew!  I’m going to ignore those books, possibly even burn them.

I had my postpartum appointment this week.  I am down to 142 - approx 10 lbs away from where I was before I got pregnant.  WOO HOO!  10 lbs sounds manageable.  I think the 10 lbs is spread out between that satchel I’m holding in my lap right now (my postpartum jelly belly – ugh, I need to get started on the ab work STAT) and the giant chest Oscar calls his “next meal” which I believe fluctuates between 2 ½ to 5 lbs each (probably exaggerating a little).  I do now realize that this last 10 lbs may not go away until after I stop breastfeeding, but I could get lucky and lose it before once I start working out (hoping/praying) - which now I am in the clear to do – uck. I also had the pleasure of another PAP.  Oh Joy.  If you recall, this is because when I went in at 9 weeks I had an abnormal PAP finding low-grade HPV.  It will be fine, I believe I am completely healthy and healed – miracles do happen.

Another topic at my appointment was birth control.  It’s funny how many times you are asked about birth control after you have a baby.  For me, it started during my last few weeks of pregnancy – “now, have you considered your birth control options.” “ Well, right now, I’ve got nothing to worry about because I’ve already got a baby inside of me.  I’m guessing he’s not going to let any other womb goblins invade his space.”  Then you are enjoying your newborn on your chest after delivery and the Docs are asking.  Nurses are asking, the lactation consultant (what does that have to do with my chest?).  You pass a janitor mopping a floor on the way to your postpartum room, apparently he’s concerned about my birth control decision too.   PEOPLE! I just had the baby!  Of course I do not want to get pregnant again, but the thought of having “relations” at this moment in time makes me want to vomit.  Now that potential relations are back in the picture birth control is a topic to consider.  We discussed our options.  I cannot stand being on the pill, makes me really hormonal and yucky (just imagine those blog posts.  Can you say – SYBIL?).  I was happy to volunteer to have my tubes tied (tubal ligation), but since our hospital is Catholic they will not perform this surgery.  So in the end, we decided on Tim getting the snip, snip (he’s going to be thrilled with me that I am sharing this with an audience).  With all that my body has gone through I guess it’s ok for him to experience a little discomfort in his “region” for a few days.

Can I tell you how much I loathe the binki, pacifier, nook, whatever you choose to call it?  I know it’s a necessary evil.  I’ve learned to just accept it.  Sometimes I am able to get Oscar to nap without it, those days are good.  But I swear my son knows right when I sit down at my desk, in the basement, once I’ve laid him down for a nap.  It’s almost like I hear the noise – pa-tooey – it’s out, laying right next to his head, he can see it but because he can’t pick it up and put it back in his own mouth he starts to grunt which I can hear on the monitor.  So I’m embracing the loss of the pacifier with “Pacicize”.  This is a new workout program for busy new moms.  Put the binki in baby’s mouth, lay baby down (arms, back, shoulders), leave the room (cardio), go downstairs (legs), sit down (thighs and butt), hear baby, sprint from desk to stairs (cardio), run up the stairs – sometimes skipping two steps which intensifies your workout (legs and butt) and to his room (cardio).  Repeat several times until the baby has finally drifted off to sleep and/or you cannot walk anymore.  It’s almost like your baby is trying to get you back into your pre-baby shape!  I’m sure I’ve burned off at least a bite of the brownie I just ate.